Travel bloggers and relationships?
It’s 6.48 am on Wednesday 19th February. I arrived to Bratislava half an hour ago after a long night on a train thinking. I was thinking that I was supposed to meet up with my boyfriend once I get here. My ex boyfriend. As you might have noticed, we broke up just before I left home for a 4-month trip doing Adventure and Spa project.
And now I am here at a friend’s who I had to wake up at 6.30 am to leave my backpack at while I am in Belgrade for the next 3 days. It was supposed to be my boyfriend the one to pick up my backpack and keep it meantime.
I spent the whole night thinking about my two relationships I had while blogging. I did build a wall around me, brick after brick with every bad word and horrible attitude I’ve got. Been years and my last 2 relationships were worse than bad. And here I was thinking …
Does it have to do with blogging too?
Do other solo bloggers, be it female or male, have the same problem?
Travel bloggers and relationships. I guess it’s a long story!
It finds me wondering … Or is it just me being super difficult and demanding?
Yes, I’ve mentioned it a few times already. My ideal guy would need to have 55 things for me to marry him, or just to spend crazy years with him. But is it asking for a guy who likes children, who supports me, doesn’t live with his mum and loves traveling so impossible?
My last 2 ex boyfriends opened my eyes.
I am not just super demanding, but I also have no patience. I want all or nothing. I don’t want a long distance relationship because those I had in the past, they all ended up with guys being unfaithful. And this is something I will never forgive and not going to risk it again.
travel bloggers and relationships
Last night I realized a few more things.
Yes, my relationships have a lot to do with my travel lifestyle and blogging.
I admit I need someone who will be able to most probably quit his life, his job back ”home” and start to travel with me doing an online job. It is very selfish from me to ask for that but my job, travel blogging, is something I have been fighting for for years. It’s far away from ideal but just thanks to it I can fulfill my biggest dream of traveling. And if you’ve ever gone after any of your dreams when a hard work is necessary, you will understand me that nothing and no one can make me change my life now. I am super egoistic in this and I know it.
And it also brings me to another problem when my travel lifestyle interfares with relationships – dreams. Many people think travel bloggers are just crazy people running away from life and problems. But we are running towards life. We are a small group of people who find guts to quit everything ”normal” people consider ”normal” and do anything to live life at fullest. To live our dreams.
The problem is that being surrounded by so many bloggers doing the same hard work that is not appreciated as it should, I expect the same thing from my boyfriend. I don’t mean that he shouldn’t support travel blogging, but on the contrary he has to have guts to change everything and follow his dreams.
Like I said, there’s just a very few people who can do that, and I know I ask for too much.
But I just cannot understand people who do have dreams but they are just wasting time doing job they don’t enjoy instead of doing something for their dreams.
And this is one of the problems why some travel bloggers and relationships don’t really go well. I am one of them…
And I just found out about other 2 travel bloggers who had the same problem recently. The funny thing is the problem comes more often from the other person, not the blogger himself/herself that finds it more difficult to go through these things.
Maybe we, travel bloggers, have learned already how to fight for something we really want to. It seems like our partners are the ones not being able to get over all this and like I said, find guts to follow their dreams even though we are here to help them and to show them it is possible. We are the best examples!
Do we, travel bloggers, kind of push our potential love buddies away from us with our independent way of life of ”I don’t really need you, I am fine on my own anyway” attitude?
Crazy Sexy Fun Traveler
Alex is a crazy Slovak girl who made traveling the reason of her life. In March 2011 she quit her stewardess job and hasn't stopped ever since. Her motto is ''I live to travel, I travel to live.'' She writes about crazy travel, fun adventures and sexy photos.
Follow Me:
facebook comments:
39 Comments
Leave a Comment
Subscribe
Abuhmaid (5)
Traveling Ted (3)
Hogga (2)
Micamyx|Senyorita (2)
Ahmed (1)
Air Con Servicing... (1)
Annette | Bucket ... (1)
Beth (1)
Calan Breckon (1)
home security (1)
Comment@ Lukas Cech:
I guess, Lukas, we should feel lucky but on the other hand it is way more complicated to find the right person when traveling!
Hey Alex, I´m with you on that – for things to work, the two have to share the same passion. Maybe not so much in a typical 2.5 kids lifestyle, but definitely with a travel lifestyle.
“Opposites attract” is bollocks. Love is more complicated than that – maybe if one is patient, the other less, they balance each other out, that works, but if one wants to settle and the other wants to see the world, that´s not going to work out.
Love doesn´t require much to spark off, but needs much more to last. Travelers tend to be very set in their ways and have a clear idea about their values, so we need a person, whose values are same or very close to ours.
But I see this as a positive thing – it filters out all the possible relationships, that would be just a waste of time and fail over time.
And we´re in the best position to find what we´re looking for, as we can meet that person anywhere in the world, as opposed to live in a village/town/city, with very limited options
Aren´t we lucky!
Comment@ james:
So sorry to hear that, James. Join the club :/ It’s amazing what we are doing, but on the other hand so difficult!
I have had the exact same problem. My GF and I broke up a few months ago because I wanted to travel more and she wanted to focus on a career. Its hard to be a solo travel blogger. like its easy to start relationships as a lot of people have this romanticized notion of what it is we do but the reality is quite different.
Comment@ Runaway Jane:
So we have completely the same opinion about this topic, Jane! It is both nice and sad to see more people like this though.
Crazy sexy fun traveler recently posted..Where to stay in Berlin – Plus Berlin Hostel
Great post Alex! I was just about to write an article on a similar topic. I’d like to think that if you love someone you can work it out but I think you’re right – it’s hard to accept someone who doesn’t have the will power to make a change in their life to achieve their dreams. I think the only way for me to ever have a long-term relationship now is to be with someone who works online and loves to travel because travel blogging is just too important for me to give up. I’d honestly rather be alone than give it up to be with someone.
Comment@ Lyn:
Thanks Lyn for such a long and honest comment. I see you are experiencing the same. Well, let’s see if we find any guys who will not be afraid of traveling and independent women
Crazy sexy fun traveler recently posted..Where to stay in Berlin – Plus Berlin Hostel
Hey Alex,
Wonderful, honest post and soo true!
“Many people think travel bloggers are just crazy people running away from life and problems. But we are running towards life. We are a small group of people who find guts to quit everything ”normal” people consider ”normal” and do anything to live life at fullest. To live our dreams.”
I love this passage. When someone decides to give up their “normal” life to follow their dreams it is the most courageous thing. So many of the people stuck in “normal” life can be judgmental and try to drag you down as they are afraid to live with freedom and without safety nets around them. Indeed you are “running towards life” and that’s the best way to put it! You’re giving yourself permission to be free and to live the life you’ve dreamed of and no doubt there will be guys out their looking for the same thing, although they may be hard to find! I also find many guys are intimidated by my dreams and freedom loving nature, and honestly, I am completely bored by many of them that come my way without dreams and afraid to live life, so I’d rather do without until Mr.OpenMinded comes along. What you seek is also seeking you! Good luck!
Thanks, Natalie. Sweet of you! Good luck with your book
Hey! Great to meet you here.
I just found you when I was asking people who their favourite travel bloggers were and you were recommended. Then I read this post and just had to comment as I’m covering this in my book and would love to quote you.
For a little about me you can check out http://suitcaseentrepreneur.com
More on the book I”m writing here http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/437172191/the-suitcase-entrepreneur
Thanks
Natalie
Natalie recently posted..How To Build A Powerful Brand Platform And Attract More Of Your Ideal Clients
Comment@ Mike (Nomadic Texan):
Very nice of you, Mike, thanks for the tip
Crazy sexy fun traveler recently posted..Drinking Gin and Dancing With Horses on Menorca
Alexandra,
My wife of 34 years and I had this same conversation the other night, as she asked why most of the travel bloggers I keep up with are single. Then I showed her there was a plethora of couples and reminded her she is getting ready to join the club with me.
I think that it is more a situation of finding a person that has the same aspirations and dreams as you and not “cutting corners” when you find someone you are attracted to. Take a breath, step back and assess whether the individual really shares your passions and you will be fine! Best of luck and Safe Travels young lady !!!
Comment@ Vincent Vanzetti:
Thanks Vincent for your pick
Your “Ideal Guy” post immediately made me think of this book:
http://www.amazon.com/Marry-Him-Settling-Enough-ebook/dp/B0030CVPOA/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1361808018&sr=8-2&keywords=marry+him
(“Marry Him” by Lori Gottlieb)
She has a very similar exhaustive list of traits near the beginning of the book. Definitely worth a read…
Vincent Vanzetti recently posted..He floats through the air, with the greatest of ease
Comment@ Katie:
I should be happy that it’s not ”just” me but actually it is sad it’s so many of us!
No it’s not just you! Being a blogger can take a toll on relationships with everyone. We are always working and our brains are always spinning off in a hundred directions!
Comment@ Journey Scout:
You summarized it pretty well.
I think I would say traveling, more than travel blogging itself, make it difficult to stay in a relationship and for things to work out. Thats just going off personal experience. i think the lifestyle is so different that its hard to find someone compatible.
Journey Scout recently posted..Fоur Thіngѕ Every Good Travel Article Shоuld Include
Comment@ Raquel Ritz:
Never thought the answer was that easy haha
Maybe you are right, Raquel
Maybe he was not the right guy after all? Or maybe he was not even close
You will find Mr. Right without even realising!
Raquel Ritz recently posted..11 reasons to visit Galicia
Comment@ Travel with Bender (Erin):
I am sticking to my long 55 list for sure 
Sweet of you, Erin
Comment@ Travel with Bender (Erin):
Sweet of you 
Thanks so much, Erin
Comment@ Tiny Girl with Big Bag:
But I know most of travel bloggers already :/
Haha true
“Many people think travel bloggers are just crazy people running away from life and problems. But we are running towards life. We are a small group of people who find guts to quit everything ”normal” people consider ”normal” and do anything to live life at fullest. To live our dreams.” YES! Great line. As a travelling family I have great sympathy for you. i hope you find the man of your dreams – hold out for those 55 things – he is out there!
Comment@ Crazy sexy fun traveler:
Sure thing! You need to find another travel blogger, no doubt. As far as I saw, there are tons of cool ones out in the world.. and TBEX is soon there, too
Tiny Girl with Big Bag recently posted..Grease-feeling in muu Lechería
@ Marysia @ My Travel Affairs:
I got a huge number of responses to these thoughts, so unfortunately more people have the same problem. I know I can find a guy anywhere, but there is no other place where I go to as ”often” (maybe twice or 3 times a year) but Slovakia, so it’s not an option for me.
I clearly understand you, I do not go for such long trips, up to 2 months no longer so far
But I do not want a Polish man either but for me, I can live wherever, ha ha ha And maybe you can find non Slovak guy in Slovakia?
But I truly get you Alex, it is all complicated and I think you are right that more people experience it…
Marysia @ My Travel Affairs recently posted..Friday Lens Affair #16
Comment@ Kristin of Be My Travel Muse:
Unfortunately, you are right, Kristin.
Crazy sexy fun traveler recently posted..Travel bloggers and relationships?
Comment@ Jana:
Will see how it all goes in the future. But at least, like you said, I do know that a guy not following his dreams would be boring to me.
You completely got what it is all about
Crazy sexy fun traveler recently posted..Travel bloggers and relationships?
Comment@ Marysia @ My Travel Affairs:
But it all does make sense a bit, right? If you do short trips, then it would be ok. But I do trips 3 – 6 months and then go to Slovakia for a few weeks so it would be a long distance relationship which I don’t want to at all. And for the past few years I don’t want a Slovak guy either, so couldn’t do what you want, Marysia. But the rest is how you said.
Crazy sexy fun traveler recently posted..Travel bloggers and relationships?
Comment@ Pablo Villoslada Puigcerber:
I will keep traveling and writing about it, of course 
Thanks Pablo
Crazy sexy fun traveler recently posted..Travel bloggers and relationships?
Comment@ Tiny Girl with Big Bag:
You are right. But one of the most important things in a guy for me is he has to travel. Otherwise he can really be ideal in everything else, but I would not stay with him. I did not follow my dreams cos of a few guys before and never going to repeat the same mistake. Especially not now when I am living my dream and know how to live it. So I can only respect a guy who is a traveler too.
Crazy sexy fun traveler recently posted..Travel bloggers and relationships?
Hey Girl, it is a very impressive thing that you can write with such an honesty. You are a strong woman. Only one thing that came up to my mind, which you keep writing about in this post saying that they do not have the guts to quit their job and live your life. I think that as much as they respect your lifestyle, you would also want to respect their ways of living, and do as much of sacrifice as you would expect them to do for you. You will get as much out of a relationship as much you put into that. Adaption, sacrifice, alignment, whatever.. I wish that you will find the balance between letting someone into your life, and be part of someone’s life at the same time, and create a new life together
Tiny Girl with Big Bag recently posted..Grease-feeling in muu Lechería
Alex you have pointed out something very true what I experiences few times already. Majority of men I meet are really impressed by what I’m doing. Traveling alone to crazy countries, supporting myself but after a while it is becoming a problem for them, I’m away a lot, I do not have time to wait for them and let’s be honest they will never get as much holidays as I have. Long distance is difficult and after all they always go for a safer option and date a Girl who is there for them. Oh, well, what I can do?!
You say you want them to travel with you, I actually do not, not all the time at least. I’m ok with seeing each other between my travels….but who will say yes for that and stay faithful to addition?!?! Maybe I’m simply dreaming awake and a perfect solution does not exist…
Marysia @ My Travel Affairs recently posted..Almaty – Hello Kazakhstan!
Wow Alex, I’m sorry to hear this and that it lasted so little, but I think it’s better sooner than later. Good luck in your new project and keep us updated!
Pablo Villoslada Puigcerber recently posted..El resumen de 2012
Hi Alex, maybe you should avoid guys that names sound like yours
(joking)
It’s really not easy to find soulmate in this world no matter what job one does, and specially with such a busy lifestyle. You definitely know what you want, i like that spirit! The question is if that kind of guy was ever born… the strong one that can support you and you can admire him, free and passionate, on the other way ready to give his world for you and follow you on your life way. Strong personality like you will always have also his own dreams to follow, and the weak one, that will follow you in everything, in such a guy you would lost an interest after few weeks, because such a person is just boring.
I keep my fingers crossed for you on your trips, love will come when it’s ment to come!
I can understand this and relate. They often think it’s really cool, at first, to meet someone who is so passionate about travel and following her dreams. But then, they realize that means we’re gone a lot, and it will be a difficult relationship to maintain, and it falls apart.
Kristin of Be My Travel Muse recently posted..Tips From the Banker: The Real Cost of Travel in Thailand
Comment@ The Guy:
So sweet to hear your opinion, many thanks
Sorry to hear that things didn’t work out for you both Alex.
You are very open and personal on this blog. Whilst opening yourself up it does give us a good insight into your mind and thoughts.
You have a situation where you are clear in your goals and aspirations and anything else is a compromise. I’m sure you’ll find the right fit with the right person in time. In the meantime you have the perfect attitude of getting on with things and living the life you love.
I wish you well.
The Guy recently posted..My First Flight With Virgin Australia