Travel bloggers and relationships?
It’s 6.48 am on Wednesday 19th February. I arrived to Bratislava half an hour ago after a long night on a train thinking. I was thinking that I was supposed to meet up with my boyfriend once I get here. My ex boyfriend. As you might have noticed, we broke up just before I left home for a 4-month trip doing Adventure and Spa project.
And now I am here at a friend’s who I had to wake up at 6.30 am to leave my backpack at while I am in Belgrade for the next 3 days. It was supposed to be my boyfriend the one to pick up my backpack and keep it meantime.
I spent the whole night thinking about my two relationships I had while blogging. I did build a wall around me, brick after brick with every bad word and horrible attitude I’ve got. Been years and my last 2 relationships were worse than bad. And here I was thinking …
Does it have to do with blogging too?
Do other solo bloggers, be it female or male, have the same problem?
Travel bloggers and relationships. I guess it’s a long story!
It finds me wondering … Or is it just me being super difficult and demanding?
Yes, I’ve mentioned it a few times already. My ideal guy would need to have 55 things for me to marry him, or just to spend crazy years with him. But is it asking for a guy who likes children, who supports me, doesn’t live with his mum and loves traveling so impossible?
My last 2 ex boyfriends opened my eyes.
I am not just super demanding, but I also have no patience. I want all or nothing. I don’t want a long distance relationship because those I had in the past, they all ended up with guys being unfaithful. And this is something I will never forgive and not going to risk it again.
travel bloggers and relationships
Last night I realized a few more things.
Yes, my relationships have a lot to do with my travel lifestyle and blogging.
I admit I need someone who will be able to most probably quit his life, his job back ”home” and start to travel with me doing an online job. It is very selfish from me to ask for that but my job, travel blogging, is something I have been fighting for for years. It’s far away from ideal but just thanks to it I can fulfill my biggest dream of traveling. And if you’ve ever gone after any of your dreams when a hard work is necessary, you will understand me that nothing and no one can make me change my life now. I am super egoistic in this and I know it.
And it also brings me to another problem when my travel lifestyle interfares with relationships – dreams. Many people think travel bloggers are just crazy people running away from life and problems. But we are running towards life. We are a small group of people who find guts to quit everything ”normal” people consider ”normal” and do anything to live life at fullest. To live our dreams.
The problem is that being surrounded by so many bloggers doing the same hard work that is not appreciated as it should, I expect the same thing from my boyfriend. I don’t mean that he shouldn’t support travel blogging, but on the contrary he has to have guts to change everything and follow his dreams.
Like I said, there’s just a very few people who can do that, and I know I ask for too much.
But I just cannot understand people who do have dreams but they are just wasting time doing job they don’t enjoy instead of doing something for their dreams.
And this is one of the problems why some travel bloggers and relationships don’t really go well. I am one of them…
And I just found out about other 2 travel bloggers who had the same problem recently. The funny thing is the problem comes more often from the other person, not the blogger himself/herself that finds it more difficult to go through these things.
Maybe we, travel bloggers, have learned already how to fight for something we really want to. It seems like our partners are the ones not being able to get over all this and like I said, find guts to follow their dreams even though we are here to help them and to show them it is possible. We are the best examples!
Do we, travel bloggers, kind of push our potential love buddies away from us with our independent way of life of ”I don’t really need you, I am fine on my own anyway” attitude?
Raquel Ritz
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Maybe he was not the right guy after all? Or maybe he was not even close :) You will find Mr. Right without even realising!
Crazy Sexy Fun Traveler
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Comment@ Travel with Bender (Erin):
Sweet of you, Erin :) I am sticking to my long 55 list for sure :D
Crazy Sexy Fun Traveler
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Comment@ Travel with Bender (Erin):
Thanks so much, Erin :) Sweet of you :)
Crazy Sexy Fun Traveler
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Comment@ Tiny Girl with Big Bag:
Haha true :) But I know most of travel bloggers already :/
Travel with Bender (Erin)
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“Many people think travel bloggers are just crazy people running away from life and problems. But we are running towards life. We are a small group of people who find guts to quit everything ”normal” people consider ”normal” and do anything to live life at fullest. To live our dreams.” YES! Great line. As a travelling family I have great sympathy for you. i hope you find the man of your dreams – hold out for those 55 things – he is out there! :D
Tiny Girl with Big Bag
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Comment@ Crazy sexy fun traveler:
Sure thing! You need to find another travel blogger, no doubt. As far as I saw, there are tons of cool ones out in the world.. and TBEX is soon there, too ;)
Crazy Sexy Fun Traveler
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@ Marysia @ My Travel Affairs:
I got a huge number of responses to these thoughts, so unfortunately more people have the same problem. I know I can find a guy anywhere, but there is no other place where I go to as ”often” (maybe twice or 3 times a year) but Slovakia, so it’s not an option for me.
Marysia @ My Travel Affairs
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I clearly understand you, I do not go for such long trips, up to 2 months no longer so far :)
But I do not want a Polish man either but for me, I can live wherever, ha ha ha And maybe you can find non Slovak guy in Slovakia?
But I truly get you Alex, it is all complicated and I think you are right that more people experience it…
Crazy sexy fun traveler
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Comment@ Kristin of Be My Travel Muse:
Unfortunately, you are right, Kristin.
Crazy sexy fun traveler
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Comment@ Jana:
You completely got what it is all about :) Will see how it all goes in the future. But at least, like you said, I do know that a guy not following his dreams would be boring to me.
Crazy sexy fun traveler
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Comment@ Marysia @ My Travel Affairs:
But it all does make sense a bit, right? If you do short trips, then it would be ok. But I do trips 3 – 6 months and then go to Slovakia for a few weeks so it would be a long distance relationship which I don’t want to at all. And for the past few years I don’t want a Slovak guy either, so couldn’t do what you want, Marysia. But the rest is how you said.
Crazy sexy fun traveler
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Comment@ Pablo Villoslada Puigcerber:
Thanks Pablo :) I will keep traveling and writing about it, of course ;)
Crazy sexy fun traveler
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Comment@ Tiny Girl with Big Bag:
You are right. But one of the most important things in a guy for me is he has to travel. Otherwise he can really be ideal in everything else, but I would not stay with him. I did not follow my dreams cos of a few guys before and never going to repeat the same mistake. Especially not now when I am living my dream and know how to live it. So I can only respect a guy who is a traveler too.
Tiny Girl with Big Bag
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Hey Girl, it is a very impressive thing that you can write with such an honesty. You are a strong woman. Only one thing that came up to my mind, which you keep writing about in this post saying that they do not have the guts to quit their job and live your life. I think that as much as they respect your lifestyle, you would also want to respect their ways of living, and do as much of sacrifice as you would expect them to do for you. You will get as much out of a relationship as much you put into that. Adaption, sacrifice, alignment, whatever.. I wish that you will find the balance between letting someone into your life, and be part of someone’s life at the same time, and create a new life together :)
Marysia @ My Travel Affairs
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Alex you have pointed out something very true what I experiences few times already. Majority of men I meet are really impressed by what I’m doing. Traveling alone to crazy countries, supporting myself but after a while it is becoming a problem for them, I’m away a lot, I do not have time to wait for them and let’s be honest they will never get as much holidays as I have. Long distance is difficult and after all they always go for a safer option and date a Girl who is there for them. Oh, well, what I can do?!
You say you want them to travel with you, I actually do not, not all the time at least. I’m ok with seeing each other between my travels….but who will say yes for that and stay faithful to addition?!?! Maybe I’m simply dreaming awake and a perfect solution does not exist…
Pablo Villoslada Puigcerber
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Wow Alex, I’m sorry to hear this and that it lasted so little, but I think it’s better sooner than later. Good luck in your new project and keep us updated!
Jana
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Hi Alex, maybe you should avoid guys that names sound like yours ;) (joking)
It’s really not easy to find soulmate in this world no matter what job one does, and specially with such a busy lifestyle. You definitely know what you want, i like that spirit! The question is if that kind of guy was ever born… the strong one that can support you and you can admire him, free and passionate, on the other way ready to give his world for you and follow you on your life way. Strong personality like you will always have also his own dreams to follow, and the weak one, that will follow you in everything, in such a guy you would lost an interest after few weeks, because such a person is just boring.
I keep my fingers crossed for you on your trips, love will come when it’s ment to come!
Kristin of Be My Travel Muse
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I can understand this and relate. They often think it’s really cool, at first, to meet someone who is so passionate about travel and following her dreams. But then, they realize that means we’re gone a lot, and it will be a difficult relationship to maintain, and it falls apart.
Crazy Sexy Fun Traveler
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Comment@ The Guy:
So sweet to hear your opinion, many thanks :)
The Guy
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Sorry to hear that things didn’t work out for you both Alex.
You are very open and personal on this blog. Whilst opening yourself up it does give us a good insight into your mind and thoughts.
You have a situation where you are clear in your goals and aspirations and anything else is a compromise. I’m sure you’ll find the right fit with the right person in time. In the meantime you have the perfect attitude of getting on with things and living the life you love.
I wish you well.