Travel bloggers and relationships?
It’s 6.48 am on Wednesday 19th February. I arrived to Bratislava half an hour ago after a long night on a train thinking. I was thinking that I was supposed to meet up with my boyfriend once I get here. My ex boyfriend. As you might have noticed, we broke up just before I left home for a 4-month trip doing Adventure and Spa project.
And now I am here at a friend’s who I had to wake up at 6.30 am to leave my backpack at while I am in Belgrade for the next 3 days. It was supposed to be my boyfriend the one to pick up my backpack and keep it meantime.
I spent the whole night thinking about my two relationships I had while blogging. I did build a wall around me, brick after brick with every bad word and horrible attitude I’ve got. Been years and my last 2 relationships were worse than bad. And here I was thinking …
Does it have to do with blogging too?
Do other solo bloggers, be it female or male, have the same problem?
Travel bloggers and relationships. I guess it’s a long story!
It finds me wondering … Or is it just me being super difficult and demanding?
Yes, I’ve mentioned it a few times already. My ideal guy would need to have 55 things for me to marry him, or just to spend crazy years with him. But is it asking for a guy who likes children, who supports me, doesn’t live with his mum and loves traveling so impossible?
My last 2 ex boyfriends opened my eyes.
I am not just super demanding, but I also have no patience. I want all or nothing. I don’t want a long distance relationship because those I had in the past, they all ended up with guys being unfaithful. And this is something I will never forgive and not going to risk it again.
travel bloggers and relationships
Last night I realized a few more things.
Yes, my relationships have a lot to do with my travel lifestyle and blogging.
I admit I need someone who will be able to most probably quit his life, his job back ”home” and start to travel with me doing an online job. It is very selfish from me to ask for that but my job, travel blogging, is something I have been fighting for for years. It’s far away from ideal but just thanks to it I can fulfill my biggest dream of traveling. And if you’ve ever gone after any of your dreams when a hard work is necessary, you will understand me that nothing and no one can make me change my life now. I am super egoistic in this and I know it.
And it also brings me to another problem when my travel lifestyle interfares with relationships – dreams. Many people think travel bloggers are just crazy people running away from life and problems. But we are running towards life. We are a small group of people who find guts to quit everything ”normal” people consider ”normal” and do anything to live life at fullest. To live our dreams.
The problem is that being surrounded by so many bloggers doing the same hard work that is not appreciated as it should, I expect the same thing from my boyfriend. I don’t mean that he shouldn’t support travel blogging, but on the contrary he has to have guts to change everything and follow his dreams.
Like I said, there’s just a very few people who can do that, and I know I ask for too much.
But I just cannot understand people who do have dreams but they are just wasting time doing job they don’t enjoy instead of doing something for their dreams.
And this is one of the problems why some travel bloggers and relationships don’t really go well. I am one of them…
And I just found out about other 2 travel bloggers who had the same problem recently. The funny thing is the problem comes more often from the other person, not the blogger himself/herself that finds it more difficult to go through these things.
Maybe we, travel bloggers, have learned already how to fight for something we really want to. It seems like our partners are the ones not being able to get over all this and like I said, find guts to follow their dreams even though we are here to help them and to show them it is possible. We are the best examples!
Do we, travel bloggers, kind of push our potential love buddies away from us with our independent way of life of ”I don’t really need you, I am fine on my own anyway” attitude?
Joshua
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Aw honey, I’m the only man you’ll ever need: I do cuddles, and back massages, and will gladly let you go travelling ;) ill even come with you. And I’m also easy on the eyes. And good at shopping. Kisses my lovely lady!
Valeri
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I think the right guy is out there and you’ll run into him along the way because he will be chasing the same dream you are. I kind of left someone back home to live my own selfish dreams abroad and on the way unexpectedly met my perfect match. I just wrote a blog about it @ valeridownunder.com. There’s nothing wring with having standards. However it is when you let go of that checklist the right man will make you forget all about them. Your dream man is out there!
Crazy Sexy Fun Traveler
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This is so nice of you, such a positive comment, Valeri! Thanks!
Crazy Sexy Fun Traveler
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Comment@ Lukas Cech:
I guess, Lukas, we should feel lucky but on the other hand it is way more complicated to find the right person when traveling!
Lukas Cech
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Hey Alex, I´m with you on that – for things to work, the two have to share the same passion. Maybe not so much in a typical 2.5 kids lifestyle, but definitely with a travel lifestyle.
“Opposites attract” is bollocks. Love is more complicated than that – maybe if one is patient, the other less, they balance each other out, that works, but if one wants to settle and the other wants to see the world, that´s not going to work out.
Love doesn´t require much to spark off, but needs much more to last. Travelers tend to be very set in their ways and have a clear idea about their values, so we need a person, whose values are same or very close to ours.
But I see this as a positive thing – it filters out all the possible relationships, that would be just a waste of time and fail over time.
And we´re in the best position to find what we´re looking for, as we can meet that person anywhere in the world, as opposed to live in a village/town/city, with very limited options :)
Aren´t we lucky! :)
Crazy Sexy Fun Traveler
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Comment@ james:
So sorry to hear that, James. Join the club :/ It’s amazing what we are doing, but on the other hand so difficult!
james
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I have had the exact same problem. My GF and I broke up a few months ago because I wanted to travel more and she wanted to focus on a career. Its hard to be a solo travel blogger. like its easy to start relationships as a lot of people have this romanticized notion of what it is we do but the reality is quite different.
Crazy sexy fun traveler
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Comment@ Runaway Jane:
So we have completely the same opinion about this topic, Jane! It is both nice and sad to see more people like this though.
Runaway Jane
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Great post Alex! I was just about to write an article on a similar topic. I’d like to think that if you love someone you can work it out but I think you’re right – it’s hard to accept someone who doesn’t have the will power to make a change in their life to achieve their dreams. I think the only way for me to ever have a long-term relationship now is to be with someone who works online and loves to travel because travel blogging is just too important for me to give up. I’d honestly rather be alone than give it up to be with someone.
Crazy sexy fun traveler
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Comment@ Lyn:
Thanks Lyn for such a long and honest comment. I see you are experiencing the same. Well, let’s see if we find any guys who will not be afraid of traveling and independent women :)
Lyn
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Hey Alex,
Wonderful, honest post and soo true!
“Many people think travel bloggers are just crazy people running away from life and problems. But we are running towards life. We are a small group of people who find guts to quit everything ”normal” people consider ”normal” and do anything to live life at fullest. To live our dreams.”
I love this passage. When someone decides to give up their “normal” life to follow their dreams it is the most courageous thing. So many of the people stuck in “normal” life can be judgmental and try to drag you down as they are afraid to live with freedom and without safety nets around them. Indeed you are “running towards life” and that’s the best way to put it! You’re giving yourself permission to be free and to live the life you’ve dreamed of and no doubt there will be guys out their looking for the same thing, although they may be hard to find! I also find many guys are intimidated by my dreams and freedom loving nature, and honestly, I am completely bored by many of them that come my way without dreams and afraid to live life, so I’d rather do without until Mr.OpenMinded comes along. What you seek is also seeking you! Good luck!
Natalie
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Hey! Great to meet you here.
I just found you when I was asking people who their favourite travel bloggers were and you were recommended. Then I read this post and just had to comment as I’m covering this in my book and would love to quote you.
For a little about me you can check out https://suitcaseentrepreneur.com
More on the book I”m writing here https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/437172191/the-suitcase-entrepreneur
Thanks
Natalie
Crazy Sexy Fun Traveler
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Thanks, Natalie. Sweet of you! Good luck with your book :)
Crazy sexy fun traveler
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Comment@ Mike (Nomadic Texan):
Very nice of you, Mike, thanks for the tip ;)
Mike (Nomadic Texan)
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Alexandra,
My wife of 34 years and I had this same conversation the other night, as she asked why most of the travel bloggers I keep up with are single. Then I showed her there was a plethora of couples and reminded her she is getting ready to join the club with me.
I think that it is more a situation of finding a person that has the same aspirations and dreams as you and not “cutting corners” when you find someone you are attracted to. Take a breath, step back and assess whether the individual really shares your passions and you will be fine! Best of luck and Safe Travels young lady !!!
Crazy Sexy Fun Traveler
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Comment@ Vincent Vanzetti:
Thanks Vincent for your pick ;)
Vincent Vanzetti
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Your “Ideal Guy” post immediately made me think of this book:
https://www.amazon.com/Marry-Him-Settling-Enough-ebook/dp/B0030CVPOA/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1361808018&sr=8-2&keywords=marry+him
(“Marry Him” by Lori Gottlieb)
She has a very similar exhaustive list of traits near the beginning of the book. Definitely worth a read…
Crazy Sexy Fun Traveler
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Comment@ Katie:
I should be happy that it’s not ”just” me but actually it is sad it’s so many of us!
Katie
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No it’s not just you! Being a blogger can take a toll on relationships with everyone. We are always working and our brains are always spinning off in a hundred directions!
Crazy Sexy Fun Traveler
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Comment@ Journey Scout:
You summarized it pretty well.
Journey Scout
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I think I would say traveling, more than travel blogging itself, make it difficult to stay in a relationship and for things to work out. Thats just going off personal experience. i think the lifestyle is so different that its hard to find someone compatible.
Crazy Sexy Fun Traveler
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Comment@ Raquel Ritz:
Maybe you are right, Raquel :D Never thought the answer was that easy haha