My ideal man and his 55 things (1-20)
It was on the 8th November 2011 in Kuala Lumpur at the dinner with my international male friends when we came across the very common topic – relationships on the road. As usual, guys were wondering why I’m single. I mean, for them it is easy to understand how difficult is to have a relationship when permanently traveling. But still.
”Why don’t you have a boyfriend?” is one of the most common questions I get asked almost every day.
For those that do not understand it at all. Let’s start from the beginning.
First, my lifestyle is anything but ”normal” and easy.
I just keep moving from one place to another, meeting new people, talking to strangers and taking photographs with (sometimes random) guys.
What kind of guy would not mind all of this?
Yes, I kind of get along better with men than with women, probably because of the jealousy between us, girls. And as well because it is guys contacting me all the time. And of course, it is easier to deal with guys when I smile at them, but most of the time, not even the nicest smile ever would help me to get anything from a woman. That is for sure and it does not need any more explanations. It is much easier to talk to men.
Second, here comes an important thing… job.
I basically cannot ask anyone to just quit his job and go traveling with me around the world waiting IF I will ever be able to choose a place to settle down.
It would be too selfish from me to expect this from someone. There are unfortunately very few people who could and would have patience for this.
Both things explain why this post is travel related. Not directly, but when it comes to my traveling, it is.
And then, third: back in 2006 after a not very nice break-up, I wrote a list of pros and cons of my ex to get over him faster.
That list soon became even more important – what my ideal man should have and how he should be, in general.
”Do I need a list like this?” you are probably asking.
Well, it saves me a lot of time, to be honest. But right now I have to agree with you that when it comes to love, there are no rules and the cliche that love is blind is still 100% true.
So the question is, why do I still have the list of the things of my ideal man? Easy! During the last 5 years, the list has become longer and longer each time I met a guy that could possibly be the love of my life. Obviously, none of them was.
And how we say that you change a bit each time you fall in love, my list has changed as well a bit each time I met a new guy.
I just kept realizing so many things when meeting guys on the road that nowadays, the list consists of 55 points. I hope it will not get even bigger with time as already now it is pretty much almost impossible to find the ideal man for me :D
a man without a face … who will it be?
Please do not think that as soon as I meet a guy, I take my list and check out how many points he has. It doesn’t work this way.
Only after a certain time, when it looks like I could be in a relationship with a guy, it’s when I grab the list and simply go through all the 55 points.
The bad thing is that a guy has to have at least 50 points out of 55 to get a chance to be with me.
Sounds very harsh but it is so much simpler for me to decide if to dedicate some time to this guy, or just let him go with the so hated ”WE SHOULD STAY JUST FRIENDS.”
The funny thing is that in the beginning of 2009 my wallet was stolen together with my ‘ideal man list’ as I carried it there all the time. But, after a month I got the wallet back sent to my hometown address in Slovakia, without the money, but still with the 55-point list in there. I took it as a sign :D
I bet that many of you are wondering now… Ok, many of us have a list like that… but with 5 to 10 things probably… and you can even forget about some of the points easily when you meet someone. Yes, that is love. But 55 points? Where did I get so many???
I remember speaking about my list with the first guy ever, who was my best friend at that time and his first reaction was just a never-ending laugh saying I was too demanding (which is true, I admit, I am.)
Then, a couple of days later, I showed him the list and he was silent for 10 minutes, then he looked at me with a shocked face expression saying ”Yes, you are right. I expected it to be much worse :D”
So, here I come with my big secret list of 55 things of my ideal man, or why I am still single. Some of the points are very logical and common, while others are a bit ”weird”.
The first 3 points are the most important ones for me. The remaining points are in no particular order of importance.
1. intelligent – this is probably one of the most important things for me. I really cannot stand stupid people, for me this is mission impossible. So please, if your IQ is that of a rocking horse, how we say in Slovakia, do not waste your, nor my time contacting me :D
2. vegan – I’ve been vegan since July 2013 (mostly raw vegan) and strongly against eating and using animal products so I’d really prefer a vegan partner who understands my point of view. It’s all about the values for me.
3. traveler – if you do not see the reason of traveling, simply get out of my way! Traveling is one of the main reasons of my life. Easy to get this point. I need someone who can travel a lot with me. And ideally, who can work in the meantime.
4. non-smoker – I have never tried smoking in my life and I’m not planning to do so. I just hate smoke and the taste of it in my mouth so non-smokers, come closer!
5. non-drinker – as I stopped drinking alcohol in 2009, I’d prefer to be with a man who does not drink any alcohol either. Ever. I don’t want to be around bad energy. No drugs, and ideally no coffee either.
6. with good character – no assholes, please! Just nice guys (even though we all know it, bad guys are more fun!)
7. with sexy eyes – the eyes are one of the first things I look at. I do not care about the color, but there has to be a spark in his eyes and when he looks at me, I have to feel it inside of all my bones, even if I’m not looking at him.
8. smile – if a guy doesn’t have a lovely smile/laugh, it could never work. If to see a smile on his face is less probable than to go on holidays to Mars… then sorry, next!
9. forearms – yes, forearms, what can I love about them? Some veins probably. Forearms are one of the first things I look at when meeting a guy (after the height and eyes). Weird, I do not understand it myself either, but I’ve just always had this thing for the forearms. Please, short sleeves for our first date :D
10. tall – as I am pretty tall for a girl (180 cm) and I hate to wear heels, the guy should be at least as tall as me, or ideally a few cm taller. If you can get only somewhere up to my tits and have a neck pain looking up to me, honestly, what do you expect from me? Swim to another port, please!
too muscular for me …
11. sexy with cool body – not too skinny, not too big, not too fat … just normal with a bit of muscles, so at the first sight we all know he does take care of himself at least a bit. I don’t really have a type of man, but I do prefer dark hair and darker skin/tan guys, though. And healthy ripped.
12. speak more languages – I love Spanish the most, especially the accent from Argentina :)
13. honest – this point should be automatic. All the liars, please get the hell away from me! As a Scorpio, I can see through all the bullsh*t and lies straight away so don’t even try to lie to me.
14. make me feel safe – he has to be my anchor when I am like the scary ocean in the storm. His behavior has to give me emotional and physical safety.
15. faithful – I really do not give second chances if you don’t believe in monogamy. Appreciate what you have or you’d lose it within a second.
16. sense of humor – I love to laugh, so we have to laugh all the time together. I’m not going to look at your rigid face when not getting my jokes.
17. love children but not wanting to have own children – children can be the cutest. Sometimes random children come to me at the street or on the beach when I travel and it always makes good memories. However, I do not want to have kids so I need a partner who does not want kids either.
18. willing and helpful – I don’t like to beg people over and over again to help me when needed. Even when it is just bringing a silly glass of water or carrying my suitcase. Just sometimes you could use your brain, too. It’s really great when men take care of women.
19. gentleman – banging the door directly into my face will not work. You don’t need to be an extreme Mexican-style gentleman and even close the door after me, but at least open it for me… Sometimes.
20. apologize – please say sorry when you do something wrong. Otherwise, where is the dislike button?!
not bad at all :)
The things 21 – 55 of my ideal man came in the following post. Get ready for them. They are more weird than these first 20 points :)
And I am ready for all your both wise and silly comments right now, go ahead :D
gj
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Comment@ Crazy Sexy Fun Traveler:
I am looking for a new wife:
Required:
1-Attractive enough (to me)
2-Loves me
3-Wants to spend time with me
4-Able to be OK when I am gone (I am gone 1/2 the time)
5-Interesting
6-Speaks English
7-Not a Capricorn
That is it…7 things.
There is more stuff that would make it easier for us to bond, by they are not required.
Someone like me could be your boyfriend. I travel worldwide for work. So, when I was off work, I could fly to where you are, stay with you until I go back to work, then fly back to work, rinse, repeat. My job situation is VERY unusual. We have people I work with living all over the world, often married to women from a different country other than our home country (and we have people from various countries that I work with).
I currently live in the US, but am thinking about moving, probably to HKG, Maylasia, Indonesia or Sri Lanka.
namaste
The Loner
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Hi there, What I notice is that being a loner made you set high standards, I am also a loner traveler and I wouldn’t hang out with just anyone who I think doesn’t live up to my standards. We hardly ever let other make life. decisions for us. I’m a man.
Crazy Sexy Fun Traveler
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Well, having standards IS good ;)
Crazy sexy fun traveler
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Comment@ Nick:
Very true, Nick. Usually when you are not looking, you will find someone ;)
Nick
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Don’t be too judgmental and lose the list! You will find the best situation when you aren’t looking
Kerala
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After reading this whole things , just want to know that whether you have this all qualities ?
Crazy Sexy Fun Traveler
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Yes, I do, except the driving because I had an accident and still are scared to drive. All the other things I do have.
Crazy Sexy Fun Traveler
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Comment@ Alberto:
haha maybe, Alberto :D
Alberto
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when you’ll meet him you’ll realize
that there is one more point in your list, not yet written, “throw the list because the guy in front me is completely different but I want him in any case.” :-)
Crazy sexy fun traveler
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Comment@ Michelle:
No, no one gets forearms but I love them :D rrrrrrr
Michelle
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Now I ended up reading your other posts. OMG you’re so funny! And YES FOREARMS!! <3 I thought I was the only one. I told my guy friend about my thing with forearms and he didn't get it.
Crazy Sexy Fun Traveler
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Comment@ Giulia:
Haha Giulia, thanks! I am really happy to see there is another girl who has a thing for the forearms :D
Giulia
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Forearms!!! YES PLEASE! I always knew you were smart. :)
crazy sexy fun traveler
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Comment@ Vishal:
Haha, easily :P
Vishal
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Now may be you could do a list of 55 things why you are a great girl. :P
crazy sexy fun traveler
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Comment@ Alex:
There is just ONE in the world, THE ONE and I have found him! Alex, you know the best who he is :)
roy
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Number 1 on my list? Classy. You’re a goner………………..