My ideal man and his 55 things (1-20)
It was on the 8th November 2011 in Kuala Lumpur at the dinner with my international male friends when we came across the very common topic – relationships on the road. As usual, guys were wondering why I’m single. I mean, for them it is easy to understand how difficult is to have a relationship when permanently traveling. But still.
”Why don’t you have a boyfriend?” is one of the most common questions I get asked almost every day.
For those that do not understand it at all. Let’s start from the beginning.
First, my lifestyle is anything but ”normal” and easy.
I just keep moving from one place to another, meeting new people, talking to strangers and taking photographs with (sometimes random) guys.
What kind of guy would not mind all of this?
Yes, I kind of get along better with men than with women, probably because of the jealousy between us, girls. And as well because it is guys contacting me all the time. And of course, it is easier to deal with guys when I smile at them, but most of the time, not even the nicest smile ever would help me to get anything from a woman. That is for sure and it does not need any more explanations. It is much easier to talk to men.
Second, here comes an important thing… job.
I basically cannot ask anyone to just quit his job and go traveling with me around the world waiting IF I will ever be able to choose a place to settle down.
It would be too selfish from me to expect this from someone. There are unfortunately very few people who could and would have patience for this.
Both things explain why this post is travel related. Not directly, but when it comes to my traveling, it is.
And then, third: back in 2006 after a not very nice break-up, I wrote a list of pros and cons of my ex to get over him faster.
That list soon became even more important – what my ideal man should have and how he should be, in general.
”Do I need a list like this?” you are probably asking.
Well, it saves me a lot of time, to be honest. But right now I have to agree with you that when it comes to love, there are no rules and the cliche that love is blind is still 100% true.
So the question is, why do I still have the list of the things of my ideal man? Easy! During the last 5 years, the list has become longer and longer each time I met a guy that could possibly be the love of my life. Obviously, none of them was.
And how we say that you change a bit each time you fall in love, my list has changed as well a bit each time I met a new guy.
I just kept realizing so many things when meeting guys on the road that nowadays, the list consists of 55 points. I hope it will not get even bigger with time as already now it is pretty much almost impossible to find the ideal man for me :D
a man without a face … who will it be?
Please do not think that as soon as I meet a guy, I take my list and check out how many points he has. It doesn’t work this way.
Only after a certain time, when it looks like I could be in a relationship with a guy, it’s when I grab the list and simply go through all the 55 points.
The bad thing is that a guy has to have at least 50 points out of 55 to get a chance to be with me.
Sounds very harsh but it is so much simpler for me to decide if to dedicate some time to this guy, or just let him go with the so hated ”WE SHOULD STAY JUST FRIENDS.”
The funny thing is that in the beginning of 2009 my wallet was stolen together with my ‘ideal man list’ as I carried it there all the time. But, after a month I got the wallet back sent to my hometown address in Slovakia, without the money, but still with the 55-point list in there. I took it as a sign :D
I bet that many of you are wondering now… Ok, many of us have a list like that… but with 5 to 10 things probably… and you can even forget about some of the points easily when you meet someone. Yes, that is love. But 55 points? Where did I get so many???
I remember speaking about my list with the first guy ever, who was my best friend at that time and his first reaction was just a never-ending laugh saying I was too demanding (which is true, I admit, I am.)
Then, a couple of days later, I showed him the list and he was silent for 10 minutes, then he looked at me with a shocked face expression saying ”Yes, you are right. I expected it to be much worse :D”
So, here I come with my big secret list of 55 things of my ideal man, or why I am still single. Some of the points are very logical and common, while others are a bit ”weird”.
The first 3 points are the most important ones for me. The remaining points are in no particular order of importance.
1. intelligent – this is probably one of the most important things for me. I really cannot stand stupid people, for me this is mission impossible. So please, if your IQ is that of a rocking horse, how we say in Slovakia, do not waste your, nor my time contacting me :D
2. vegan – I’ve been vegan since July 2013 (mostly raw vegan) and strongly against eating and using animal products so I’d really prefer a vegan partner who understands my point of view. It’s all about the values for me.
3. traveler – if you do not see the reason of traveling, simply get out of my way! Traveling is one of the main reasons of my life. Easy to get this point. I need someone who can travel a lot with me. And ideally, who can work in the meantime.
4. non-smoker – I have never tried smoking in my life and I’m not planning to do so. I just hate smoke and the taste of it in my mouth so non-smokers, come closer!
5. non-drinker – as I stopped drinking alcohol in 2009, I’d prefer to be with a man who does not drink any alcohol either. Ever. I don’t want to be around bad energy. No drugs, and ideally no coffee either.
6. with good character – no assholes, please! Just nice guys (even though we all know it, bad guys are more fun!)
7. with sexy eyes – the eyes are one of the first things I look at. I do not care about the color, but there has to be a spark in his eyes and when he looks at me, I have to feel it inside of all my bones, even if I’m not looking at him.
8. smile – if a guy doesn’t have a lovely smile/laugh, it could never work. If to see a smile on his face is less probable than to go on holidays to Mars… then sorry, next!
9. forearms – yes, forearms, what can I love about them? Some veins probably. Forearms are one of the first things I look at when meeting a guy (after the height and eyes). Weird, I do not understand it myself either, but I’ve just always had this thing for the forearms. Please, short sleeves for our first date :D
10. tall – as I am pretty tall for a girl (180 cm) and I hate to wear heels, the guy should be at least as tall as me, or ideally a few cm taller. If you can get only somewhere up to my tits and have a neck pain looking up to me, honestly, what do you expect from me? Swim to another port, please!
too muscular for me …
11. sexy with cool body – not too skinny, not too big, not too fat … just normal with a bit of muscles, so at the first sight we all know he does take care of himself at least a bit. I don’t really have a type of man, but I do prefer dark hair and darker skin/tan guys, though. And healthy ripped.
12. speak more languages – I love Spanish the most, especially the accent from Argentina :)
13. honest – this point should be automatic. All the liars, please get the hell away from me! As a Scorpio, I can see through all the bullsh*t and lies straight away so don’t even try to lie to me.
14. make me feel safe – he has to be my anchor when I am like the scary ocean in the storm. His behavior has to give me emotional and physical safety.
15. faithful – I really do not give second chances if you don’t believe in monogamy. Appreciate what you have or you’d lose it within a second.
16. sense of humor – I love to laugh, so we have to laugh all the time together. I’m not going to look at your rigid face when not getting my jokes.
17. love children but not wanting to have own children – children can be the cutest. Sometimes random children come to me at the street or on the beach when I travel and it always makes good memories. However, I do not want to have kids so I need a partner who does not want kids either.
18. willing and helpful – I don’t like to beg people over and over again to help me when needed. Even when it is just bringing a silly glass of water or carrying my suitcase. Just sometimes you could use your brain, too. It’s really great when men take care of women.
19. gentleman – banging the door directly into my face will not work. You don’t need to be an extreme Mexican-style gentleman and even close the door after me, but at least open it for me… Sometimes.
20. apologize – please say sorry when you do something wrong. Otherwise, where is the dislike button?!
not bad at all :)
The things 21 – 55 of my ideal man came in the following post. Get ready for them. They are more weird than these first 20 points :)
And I am ready for all your both wise and silly comments right now, go ahead :D
Vishal
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If you’re reasonable enough, you’ll reach 41 too. :)
crazy sexy fun traveler
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Comment@ Akshaye:@ Akshaye:
Haha I think cricket is boring :P My man cannot be boring!
Akshaye
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Point no 19….you should find some cricketer….its gentleman`s game….:-) lol
Loved the list!!
crazy sexy fun traveler
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Comment@ Vishal:
Haha that’s when you count, but don’t let me count them :P
Vishal
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I think I got 41 points. See you in Nepal! :)
Roy Marvelous
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Ah damn, I can only speak one language. Oh well… ;)
crazy sexy fun traveler
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Comment@ Roy Marvelous:
It’s never too late to start to learn one :P
Christine | Grrrl Traveler
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I think your list is extremely possible to get. Whether these qualities come in spurts and uneven flows is where the tricky part lies. =) In the end, I try to narrow it down to my top 5 things I can’t live without.
crazy sexy fun traveler
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Comment@ Christine | Grrrl Traveler:
Extremely possible? Wow, you are the first person to think so, Christine :D I wish it was true :D And what are your 5 thing you can’t live without? For me it would be love, family, friends, music and traveling :)
David @ Malaysia Asia
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haha Great post Alex! I still remember how we were discussing about Guys writing about their relationships on blogs lol. Too funny! Right Michael?
Anyway, stay safe and continue to enjoy seeing the world the way you like it.
Ian [EagerExistence]
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Hehehe. Did I tell you I’m living in Spain learning Spanish?
crazy sexy fun traveler
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Comment@ David @ Malaysia Asia:
Yes, David, I do remember very well that conversation. Why don’t you or Michale write a similar post? Don’t be shy haha
crazy sexy fun traveler
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Comment@ Ian [EagerExistence]:
Really Ian? So you got 1 point now, no, sorry 2 haha
crazy sexy fun traveler
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Comment@ chyng:
Of course, they all are writing down the points now and they all think they have them almost all :D
Right, guys have to travel, I cannot stand all the rest of them if they don’t understand the traveling thing :)
chyng
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nice list, i prefer guys who love to travel too!
dont look now but the guys around you are taking note of what you posted here. =)
crazy sexy fun traveler
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Comment@ Matt Gibson:
Haha, good! But no one has ever complained about my sense of humour, so I don’t think it would be my problem than :D
Matt Gibson
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Nice! I’m glad that you started this. I can’t wait to see the next one.
However, there is a problem with #16.
If a guy is not laughing at your jokes, the problem might not be that he doesn’t have a sense of humor, but that you don’t have on :-P
Michael Hodson
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16.
crazy sexy fun traveler
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Yes, faithful thing is extremely important … unfortunately not very common any more these days :D
Osvaldo
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Creo que la #15 vendría siendo la piedra angular de toda la lista.
I think #15 would be the cornerstone of the whole list.